Sh*! Peole Say to Pregnant Women

There are these funny videos on facebook titled "Sh*! {so and so} Say". Well... I am going to make a video about the things that get said to pregnant women. I always thought it was kind of an exaggeration from the pregnant person as to what people were saying. Nope. It happens.

"I didn't even know you were pregnant! You hide it so well"
I am 33 weeks pregnant when you told me this. I have looked fairly large for some time {see comments below for a more accurate account as to how LARGE I look). So, I look this fat always? Awesome.

"I would hug you but I don't know if my arms would fit around you"
Ok. What do you do or say when all the other obese women of our church want to hug you? I hope you are just as sensitive to their large size as you are to mine.

"You are going back to work after your baby comes? I would hate to have that be me."
Well i am glad you get mother of the year and I am that heathen of a parent who has to work full time. Thank you for your support.

"Whoa. I can't even imagine how much bigger you can get. You sure you have a month left? He is going to be one large baby".
Thanks.

finally... *Yes. These REALLY did happen to me*

Christmas Eve (this day will forever be burned into my head)...

Walking into Target I get two women coming out and walk past me and start googling over how pregnant I am and I must be "having a Christmas baby!". No. I am not due for another 2 months. {Insert really not nice name right here}

Continue my walk into Target... Guy comes out of the DOUBLE sliding doors. Stops. Takes 4 steps to his right (away from me) and let's me pass. Thank you kind sir. Didn't realize I took up as much space to your side I as I do in front. I would hate for you to get too close and have me potentially explode my pregnancy all over you! {Insert a few not nice names right here}

Stop to look at some holiday cards on display (still in Target). "Well don't you just look like you are ready to POP!" (*Action* Strangers finger is about to POKE my belly... correction. Strangers finger POKES MY FREAKING BELLY!)
*Blinking* *Blinking*

I look at this woman in complete horror and without a second thought, spout out "I could say the same to you!" and run out of Target in complete hysteria. Yes folks, this person was of the bigger size. And yes, she probably didn't mean to be offensive. And yes, I might be going straight to hell of being so rude on the day before we celebrate Christ's birth. But really!?! Don't you EVER poke someones stomach. In fact, STOP touching other pregnant peoples stomach unless you KNOW them and have their approval. I could care less if you have experienced this same awesome adventure. I am not to be touched all the time.

I don't go around fondling you. I could care less if there is a human being in my belly. Stop touch me!! This is my miracle. Not yours! You want to pet something, go to a zoo. Get an animal. Not me.

And this is why I haven't blogged in a really long time.