Ghost Writer is what this should be titled. I live under the alias name Rebel in the Powell home. "Alias name", you ask? That is right! Alias! My true ninja name is Shadow. Because that's what I do. I am a shadow of protection. How, you may be wondering, does this cute little thing {see above} protect? It's all about the persona I show... and the lethal weapon I truly am.
Sit back, relax {although don't get too relaxed... I could be lurking behind you ready to pounce}, and enjoy the read.
It all started at a young age...
I knew the trick to this young, newly married, girls heart. It was to act/ look victimized in the dog jail and to not make a SOUND when she held me. While all the other petty dogs cried and whimpered for their mommies, I held out. I knew she would go for the strong silent type.
After suffering through a major surgery, to which I showed to pain, I began my mission.
Shadow. Protector.
I became vigilant at watching during all moments. Including first time car ride to meet other human members of the Powell family.
It was during this trip that I encountered my first ferocious beast. I knew from the start what my mission was. Conquer the Saint. To this I say, mission accomplished.
First mission complete = training complete. I was ready.
I began developing a close bond with my female owner. Making sure she felt loved. Comfortable. Secure. All the while, she thinks I am just a simple minded dog. {insert chuckles of ridiculousness now}
Although my guise is that of a loving, obedient dog. I offer hugs when necessary. {don't mention this picture was ever posted. The female might complain about this picture making her look like a giant marshmallow}.
However, no true Ninja can just live under one disguise. I have other's that come out to play when the moment is right.
Am I a little lapping dog ready to play fetch??
NEIN!!!
{German for NO!!! Did I mention that I have become fluent in other languages?? Don't forget... Ninja!}
{German for NO!!! Did I mention that I have become fluent in other languages?? Don't forget... Ninja!}
Am I the ferocious beast of a wolf that lurks in front of your FACE!?!
DA!
{Russian, you fool, for YES!}
{Russian, you fool, for YES!}
As of late, my female has found herself with child? How do I know these wondrous things? I am Shadow Ninja. It is my job to know.
My mission has changed, I now follow her (unknowingly, of course) to watch and protect her every movement. When she breaks down and goes into birthing mode, that liter will know ME as their rescuer.
The rules are as follows:
1. She may go to the bathroom when ONLY I sit with one paw underneath the closed door or at her feet if the door is open. Remember, victims are attacked when they LEAST expect it.
1. She may go to the bathroom when ONLY I sit with one paw underneath the closed door or at her feet if the door is open. Remember, victims are attacked when they LEAST expect it.
Even if she pops in that bathroom for one millisecond, I am there. Waiting.
If my attempts to take silly stomach shots to show how fat she is getting, I am there. Supporting and protecting her every move. When her husband comes in and suggests not to take belly pictures of herself and to maybe wait until she is more obvious (aka... she just looks fat right now, not pregnant), I am there for comfort. {do you not see me?? Lower right hand corner. That is right... stealth like movements}.
Does your female attempt to make toast in the morning? Mine does. I am there. Behind her. Sometimes I am so quick and sneaky she almost trips over me. But do I move? Negative. I am an unmovable rock. I will lay there and give her the look of "what the heck is wrong with you? I have been laying here all morning. You move!!!" She usually apologizes and steps over me. Weak sauce.
What about when she opens the fridge in the morning to take her pills?? I watch. The male of the house questions her about the taking of these special fetus pills. I do more than ask. I watch. I make it happen.
If she turns around in attempt to CATCH me watching her {again, laughing at such ridiculousness. She can't CATCH me}, I close my eyes. When my eyes are closed. I turn invisible. Thus, she can not and will not see me.
Mission accomplished.
So why, you may wondering in that two fisted size brain of yours, would I share my secrets with you?
I want you to know. I may look cute. I may jump around all crazy like when you come to the door. I may even lick you as an offering of affection. But really, I am sizing you up. I am figuring out my next move to be 13.2 steps ahead of you. When you move, I move. What you eat or drink, I will know through those licks.
I know who you are and what you want. I will be watching.
I am Shadow. The warrior ninja of the Powell home.
{Female and I on our walks. I stand alert. I stand waiting for you.}
